discouragement

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You and What Army?

Sometime during the mid 1950s, a phrase was coined whenever a threat was made to someone. The response would be “you and who else?”. That phrase evolved during the 60s to “you and what army?”. In essence, it implies that the person making the threat can not fight back on their own or with their own strength, and will need a lot more help in order to make good on their statement.

There have been times in my life when I felt like my back was against the wall and my natural reaction was to fight back, but I had neither the strength nor the willpower to do so on my own. We all find ourselves in battles where we feel outnumbered, outmatched, defeated before we even engage. Those battles might be disease, divorce, addiction, depression-anything that zaps our energy and renders us helpless and hopeless.

In the book of 2 Kings, chapter 6, is the story of Elisha and his young servant who find themselves surrounded by chariots and horses of the armies of King of Aram:

“Oh sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried. “Don’t be afraid, because there are more on our side than on theirs!”. Then Elisha prayed, “Lord, open up his eyes so that he might see”. The Lord opened the servant’s eyes and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside surrounding Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire”.

Romans 8:31 reads “If God is for us, then who could ever be against us”, or from the Message translation, how could we ever lose! The next time you are in a situation that seems hopeless, or you simply feel too tired to fight, remember these things. First, God knows your enemy or the details of your circumstances far more than you do. Second, his armies never sleep but keep constant watch over all of his children. And third and most importantly, our God remains the undisputed, unmatched, and undefeated King of all armies. So the next time your enemy says to you, “you and what army?”, you can reply with all confidence “here, hold my beer!”.

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When God Answers No

The Bible is packed with promises regarding our prayers. “Ask whatever you will and it will be done”, or “God will give you the desires of your heart”, or “God won’t withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly”. These promises can be interpreted that God always say “yes”. But when his answer is a resounding “No!”, our world and sometimes even our faith is thrown into an upheaval.

I recall an episode of the Andy Griffith Show when Buddy Epstein asks Andy what harm would come if he gave Opie what he wanted. Andy answered that his son wants anything flashy that catches his eyes, but that not everything flashy was good for him. It was his job as a father to protect his son from anything that might cause him harm. We may not feel our petitions are flashy or harmful, but God is already in our futures and he knows before we do what is ultimately good for us or not.

I received a “no” response this weekend to something I had been praying about for over one year. I don’t understand the response, and I certainly don’t like the response because I felt I was praying about something for my greater good as a leader and servant. I find it a challenge to reconcile God’s numerous promises to my stark reality, mostly because I’m leaning on my own understanding, not his. I tell others all the time that God is not bound by the restraints of time, and that he is already present in all of our tomorrows. I need to follow my own counsel. We have to trust that he knows what’s best for us from a futuristic perspective. I see a piece of the puzzle; God already has it completed.

Is it that simple to accept his “no”? Of course not, because we won’t understand it until we are standing where he is now and looking back. For now we have questions and disappointments, “looking through the glass dimly”. Trust God when he says “no”. Believe that he isn’t being harsh but loving, seeing the whole path you are just stepping onto. Don’t pull away in disappointment or discouragement, but lean ever more heavily on him, even against your own will, knowing that God’s current denial is leading to something you could never have imagined.

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Don’t Let Your Left hand Know What Your Right Hand is Doing

I have learned from experience and unwelcomed life changes recently that discouragement is a portal into a false realm of the twisted perception of self-worth and purpose, even causing one to ask the meaning of their existence.  When life as you knew it suddenly seems to have left you behind, stranded on the side of the road of life, it takes a supernatural resolve to pull yourself up and get back on the road.  Only those who have a grasp of the eternal picture can successfully resume the journey.

All of us want to feel as if our lives matter, that our existence counts for something, that our mere presence means something to someone.  But like an illusionist making a plane disappear, discouragement and depression act as a magician’s cloak rendering us invisible.  It’s a sad place to be and a horrible place to stay.  Activities you once enjoyed with others bring little joy now; people who played such big roles in your life have left you behind like an old photo of something from times past.  And your mind becomes your worst enemy as it replays over and over memories going back decades of things that will never be again, tricking you into accepting a false narrative of your significance and contribution to your realm of influence.

Some will attempt to get involved in causes, take up social activism, donate time to local nonprofit groups, all while wondering if anyone is watching, if anyone notices.  Our motivation is one less about making a difference and more about being praised so that we can reclaim some self-worth.  The irony in this is that the only one who sees all, the only one we truly need to serve, is the one who already has the highest opinion of us.  We give, we donate, we help out-all to be seen and accepted in an attempt at our own self-redemption, completely disregarding the fact that God in his love and mercy already redeemed us, already sees us, already has our names tattooed in the palm of his hand.

There is a passage in scripture where the just are receiving their reward for deeds done on earth. The master tells them to enter into their rest because they clothed the naked, fed the hungry, visited the sick and imprisoned, all the while unaware that these unseen things they did for the least, were done and received by a God who valued them highly even at what felt like the lowest times. Another passage in Matthew 6 says that we should not blow a horn to announce the good deeds we are doing for the praise of others, but that instead we should not allow our left hand know what our right hand is up to.  Things done seemingly in secret are never hidden from God and he will reward us in grand fashion.  Our deeds and the motives behind them, good or bad, are never hidden from an all-knowing God.

Let’s be real-sometimes life stinks. Some make mistakes but seem to get a pass while others make bad decisions or lead less than perfect lives and pay heavily for it.  There appears to be  a very inequitable sense of fairness when we compare our lives to others. We work hard but still lose our jobs; we eat right and exercise but still receive that negative medical report; we love well but end up alone.  The eternal question with no answer is why bad things happen to good people, and why bad people get all the breaks in life.  We wonder what atrocities we committed to be punished so; if this were true, if we were beat up for every mistake, who among us would survive God’s wrath. As Job discovered in the Old Testament story, some questions will never be answered on Earth.  We will never be able to get everyone’s approval and unlike the movie, we don’t have any magical remote control that allows us to go back in time and change things for better outcomes. All any of us have is today.  Today will soon be yesterday.  Will you be okay with what you did yesterday?  Can you make today better? There is a profound sense of worth in living externally, seeing others and their needs, finding purpose in being a solution, even when no one is watching.  Living everyday discouraged, pining for things to be the way they were, knowing they never will be, is a tragic existence.  The heart will forever hold precious the memories of things that were, but has an enormous and unlimited capacity to receive and store new treasures going forward. If you must, hold onto the good of the past with your left hand while reaching for new opportunities with your right.  Healing and purpose will come only when you rise up from the ashes.  Those who know you best will be witnesses to how your handle life’s critical moments.  There are always people watching!

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Making Your Way Through a Blackout

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Today I ventured out to a popular mall on the Las Vegas Strip.  Upon my ascent up the escalator to the main entry hall I was met by a lady who seemed frantic as she explained to me that there was no power anywhere in the mall.  I tried to assure her that these sometime occur here and not to worry as I maneuvered into the main corridor.  Well, she was right.  There were no lights, the restaurants stopped all service, the stores had the roll cages pulled down for security and you would think we were there after hours by mistake.

I couldn’t help but notice the people seemingly lost.  Some paced back and forth nervously, others just sat quietly in the darkness and still others had their noses pressed against the store front windows as if they might see something if they looked intently enough. For a bunch of tourists on vacation, it was a very somber mood, almost like a zombie apocalypse movie.

Rather than sit with them I decided to walk the halls just to keep moving.  There was a heavy security presence at every turn guarding stores and merchandise. The fountains were silent as I rounded another corner but still I walked.  And then, a store with power, and another followed by others.  Turning another corner it was clear that this part of the mall had power and was fully functioning with food being served and cashiers ringing up sales.  Only half of the mall was without power but I would have never discovered that had I simply sat in the darkness with the others.  And all those who sat there this afternoon may be under the impression that the whole mall was dark because they never ventured out to discover otherwise.

That’s a bit the story of my life this past year.  Many of the things that brought light into my world have been removed leaving the feeling of navigating through darkness.  Perhaps you are reading this and can relate.  And like those people in the mall the tendency is to just sit and wait out the darkness or to feel helpless that there are no source of light anywhere within your immediate view. I can freely admit that at times I stopped moving and just stood there wondering what’s next, do I keep moving or just fade into the background.  When you are exposed to prolonged darkness it becomes a familiar place if not a familiar friend, almost comforting if that makes any sense.

But with time you learn that your surroundings or circumstances may never change, and your only recourse is to change your location, that is keep moving.  A popular Psalm says “even when I walk through the valley of shadows…”.  Its a journey that compels us forward even when we sense little direction, motivation or benefit for doing so.  And it’s a path that we truly never travel alone even though the isolation is at times overwhelming.

I’m so glad I kept walking through the dark halls of that mall today to the well-lit portion full of lively people enjoying their day.  It was one of those “a-ha” moments, a real life lesson.