Some of you may remember the TV commercial about someone getting a “ No Regrets” tattoo that was misspelled, leading to a permanent regret. Cambridge defines regret as “a feeling of sadness or wrong or about a mistake that you have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better.” Sound familiar? I imagine all of us at one time or another have experienced a regret or two sometime in our past.

As I am blessed to be in my 60s, I try not to have regrets. But perhaps I’m just fooling myself. I call them instead, What Ifs, things I could have done differently. Of those, there are plenty! Maybe you share some of them:

What if I’d have gone to a different high school?

What if I would have planned that date differently?

What if I’d have chosen a different career?

What if I’d have chosen a different spouse?

What if I’d have stopped before that last drink?

What if I would have worked harder to keep my family together?

What if I’d have bought that new Apple stock when it became public?

This list could be endless as you add your “ what ifs” to it. There is no denying that our choices, good and bad, alter the course of our lives. We may not have realized it at the moment, but when looking back, we can see those times when we zigged where we should have zagged. What do we do with this now? May I suggest three things we can do to utilize these to our benefit and to others.
First, don’t dwell on things you would have done differently, or imagine how your life would look now had you made different choices. Instead, be grateful for lessons learned and future opportunities to make decisions based on wisdom gained from your past.

Second, use your past “regerts” to help others you may encounter who might be facing similar decisions. There is nothing more effective in offering advice, than genuine “me too” moments. When helping someone through difficult situations, you are more credible when you can honestly share a time when you were facing the same decision.

Third, for us who follow Christ, understanding that all things truly do work out for our good if we love God and walk in his purpose for us. There is little more powerful or impactful than a messed up life due to bad choices that has been restored into a testimony of God’s goodness, regardless of a life of what if moments. He trades beauty for ashes every time. We may live within the realm of bad decisions, but God has a way of recalibrating us to his intended plan as if nothing happened. Our identity is not in bad decisions, but rather the wisdom gained in the process. No “regerts.”

Still, I wonder what would have happened if I took up golf earlier.